|
|
|
Junior Member
 
Group: Forum Members
Last Login: Wednesday, August 06, 2008 12:45 PM
Posts: 19,
Visits: 36
|
|
Thanks for your support,
Her mother certainly is not the best influence here but due to the domestic situation she is bound to live with her for the next few weeks at least. Then she might be free of it as we are due to move into our own place in Manly later in August. I believe she loves me too, don't you and the hting is I came off my stuff as I did not believe I needed them either so I suppose I am as much to blame as her. The fact is that we both have to recognise that we may need to be on them from now onwards and as long as we get on I do not care a stuff. We have spent 3 1/2 years 13,000 miles apart and have come together but instead of that reassuring her that I would never leave she just gets insecure about the girls I have been with in the mean time (I have insecurities about the guys she dated too so i cannot blame her) So can you honestly see this being the end of us. I cannot we have been through too much.
Keep posting
|
|
|
|
|
Forum Member
Group: Forum Members
Last Login: Wednesday, September 03, 2008 4:58 PM
Posts: 26,
Visits: 39
|
|
i am no doctor but i do think if you have been on anti deppressants and you can maintain a healthy out look without taking them forever then thats really great but then there are those who cannot function rationally or happily without them and need to stay on the medication. everyone has up and down times and it is totally normal to feel out of control as long as that person can regain control within themselves and if medication is needed then that is ok too.
also being insecure about exes can be a natural reaction but the most important things in a relationship are trust, honesty and communication and if these things are lacking then it could be difficult to make a relationship work as with negative thoughts comes negative energy which in turn can destroy a relationship.
once you two are back on track that is probably something that could be addressed with counselling and alot of hard work within the relationship from both of you. main thing at the moment though is for your wife to concentrate on beating the alcoholism and if she has the love and support you are offering thats a great start!
will sign off now as i have finished work but keep updating - and let us know how you get on.
|
|
|
|
|
Junior Member
Group: Forum Members
Last Login: Wednesday, August 06, 2008 12:45 PM
Posts: 19,
Visits: 36
|
|
| Well I am off to an Al-Anon Meeting tonight. It is refreshing to hear you say WHEN you get back on track. It is nice to hear it is not just me who thinks it
|
|
|
|
|
Junior Member
Group: Forum Members
Last Login: Wednesday, August 06, 2008 12:45 PM
Posts: 19,
Visits: 36
|
|
Well I am off to an Al-Anon Meeting tonight. It is refreshing to hear you say WHEN you get back on track. It is nice to hear you it is not just me who thinks it.
I think we will and know fully that it is not going to be an easy road afterwards. I know that and know counselling is going to be an important part of it. I did not fully understand how much time these meetings take up until I started going to them myself. I used to get resentful and hurt that she was spending no time with me. Now I do not know if she is going at all. I just pray she is. She has to hit rock bottom first I know. What I DO know is that I do not believe she is making a thought through decision based on sensible facts when she said go that time. She has not said it since and knows I have not. She obviously is fighting something within herself to have shut herself off from the world like she has.
My prayers are with her and I ask yours to be also
Thanks
Chris
|
|
|
|
|
Forum Member
Group: Forum Members
Last Login: Wednesday, October 22, 2008 7:25 PM
Posts: 49,
Visits: 110
|
|
Mate, I hope she gets healed and realises how much you love her. And can accept that and revel in it like she should. It sounds very much like depression or violent mood swings - schizo?) but only a professional can tell that.
My only experience with evil mothers is 2nd hand, I went out with a girl briefly for a long distance relationship and after a while we realised it couldn't work. Still good friends. She got back with the previous boyfriend and from what she tells me he is still being seriously manipulated by his mother, constantly shoving his ex in his face, feeding him her drugs and so on. She was getting to a pretty low point so I reminded her how this was going to be her year of putting up barriers. But some mothers can be horrible, if my ex wife's mother was still alive I am sure there would be no problems and I could still go over and say hi if I wanted. And I could probably have a good talk with the ex fiance's one in Adelaide that ended up really nasty. Her mum and dad wouldn't be blaming me and hate me, but I will avoid that as I don't really want the chance I will meet that crazy bitch again.
|
|
|
|
|
Junior Member
Group: Forum Members
Last Login: Wednesday, August 06, 2008 12:45 PM
Posts: 19,
Visits: 36
|
|
All I am saying is that I am staying here entirely for her. ENITRELY. I am told people with her illness always change their mind and like I have said in all my posts my ONE hope is that when she cuts me off she cuts her friends off, the polic off, the bank off, and everyone off too. This shows it is not a dislike of me as she would have me believe but a crisis she is currently enduring. I am sure it is no easier on her. That is what I must try to keep remembering. I know she loves me. Her erratic behaviour shows her actions are not thought through and considered. I also gace her an outroad 1 week ago the size of the M1 Highway and she has not taken it up. Thank God. This all points to someone who needs me as a safety net and does not want me to leave. I pointed out if she wants me to leave it must be for HER sake NOT mine. She has not repsonded since then. To anyone. I am just going to have to wait because she is using me as a safety net which is fine by me. If she needs that she gets that. Simple!!
Chris
|
|
| |