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Forum Newbie
Group: Forum Members
Last Login: Thursday, May 31, 2007 8:03 AM
Posts: 2,
Visits: 5
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This forum is looking a little lonely so i guess I will get the ball rolling....
Firstly a little bit about myself, i am a married stay at home mother of two children. My husband and I have our own business and he works incredibly long hours and this is where our problems stem from so here goes the essay. (BTW im so happy i stumbled upon this forum, now i can get a man's perspective instead of the ones epsoused by women's magazines.)
Basically my husband works WAY too many hours. He flatly refuses to take days off. Even if he only worked 4 days a week we would not starve and we would still have a roof over our heads. His excuse is that if he does not work then we dont make as much money but he hardly sees the kids and he hardly sees me.
Our r/ship is suffering though he will not admit to this. We have many problems.
Firstly, our sex life has not just taken a back seat, it has been literally thrown out the window. He is always too tired. And when he isnt tired he just is not in the mood. Ever. I know he works very hard for us but excuse me if i sound like a selfish b**** but i am SOOOOO FRUSTRATED!! I snap at my children a lot and i am very irritable. I feel like im being starved. Along with the lack of sex is the general lack of affection and intimacy. I always try and give him cuddles and kisses and he just shrugs me off. he does not see this as a problem. I have tried talking to him about it and all he can say is that he is tired so deal with it. when we do have sex - i know this is really horrible and im not proud it one bit - i have to harass him from dinnertime onwards so that he knows that i want it. Most of the times he will tell me he is too tired and i just accept it. Other times he gives in even though i know his heart isnt in it.
Secondly, trying to talk to him about anything personal is very hard because he just will not open up. He is always clammed up and it upsets me a lot as I have a lot on my mind and a lot of things i wish to say to him and wish to discuss but again he shrugs me off. It seems to me like he is perfectly ok not being intimate very often but it is not ok with me. It was never like this at the start. Surprisingly there isnt much tension between us probably because we do get along so well, we really are best friends and i do my best to keep my emotions in check around him. Unfortunately its my children who suffer. also i must add that everything is done for him and he never has to lift a finger. At first i hated doing EVERYTHING housework wise but i must admit he is a lot happier not being asked to do anything. As for the children he is rarely asked to help out with them as well and again he likes it this way.
Thirdly, because of all the above, im scared im going to stray.
What i would like to know is what is the right way to go about talking to him in a non-threatening manner with the goal being for him to open uo about our sex life, lack of intimacy, asking him to work less and so on. Of course i would have to taclke one problem at a time.
And if he doesnt want sex, what the hell can i do about it??? What can he do about it? As i said before it was never like this at the start though we have always had mismatched libidos. Who do u see for sex problems??
Any bit of advice would be a great help.
Thanks for listening.
Sass
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Forum Newbie
Group: Forum Members
Last Login: Tuesday, November 06, 2007 9:00 PM
Posts: 1,
Visits: 2
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Hey Sass.
Read your post and was just wondering how you are going and if you wanted some advice.
Cheers.
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