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Junior Member
 
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Last Login: Friday, January 04, 2008 12:02 PM
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| It is important to know that difficulties and tough times always pass. Nothing stays the same. So when we are experiencing tough times and we are struggling to find a way out, it is important to empower yourself and ask for help. That is the adult thing to do. None of us has all the answers to the challenges we encounter. But others may have had a similar experience and could share that with you if you ask. It is also important to monitor our thoughts, and change the negative ones to positive ones. Only focus on what we do have control over as best as we can. High levels of stress make it difficult to think clearly and come up with useful solutions to issues. This forum could be helpful to bounce ideas off other men Catch you later Denis
Denis Hay
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Last Login: Tuesday, December 30, 2008 5:29 PM
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denis (4/25/2007)
It is important to know that difficulties and tough times always pass. Nothing stays the same. So when we are experiencing tough times and we are struggling to find a way out, it is important to empower yourself and ask for help. That is the adult thing to do.
None of us has all the answers to the challenges we encounter. But others may have had a similar experience and could share that with you if you ask.
It is also important to monitor our thoughts, and change the negative ones to positive ones. Only focus on what we do have control over as best as we can.
High levels of stress makeit difficult to think clearly and come upwithuseful solutions to issues.
This forum could be helpful to bounce ideas off other men
Catch you later
Denis
Hi Denis,
I'm new to this site, but just wanted to reply to some of your quotes, as no one else currently has (amazing - after over 3000 views!). I'm trying not to over-react after reading your post, as I know you are well intentioned as a professional counselor, but I'd just like to comment on a few of your generalized points from my point of view.
"It is important to know that tough times and difficulties always pass".
If you could only know how I feel after reading that quote. I have been suffering for 15years with a severe mental illness and I'm still 'waiting for it to pass'. Like other people with a mental illness, we are little understood, because no-one asks us how we feel (assuming they know of the illness of course).
The stigma in society is as real today as it was 15 years ago I assure you. Oversimplifications and generalizations like the one above only exacerbate my problem. Yes I have had professional counseling - about 5 years worth!
Now before you say I took the quote out of context, am I to assume that the context does not include people with a mental illness? Try telling someone with schizophrenia or bipolar (not my diagnoses) that it is all in their head and "it will pass" and then ask them how they feel about that statement.
"None of us has all the answers to the challenges we encounter".
True, but consider the converse - 'some of us have some of the answers to the challenges we encounter'. If life is experiential, why is it then that some people who are the least qualified to comment (because of limited life experiences) seem to have 'all the knowledge' on how an experience 'might feel' if they have not had a similar experience. A quick example is the married folk always seem to know how the divorced folk should act or feel??? (never understood that one).
"But others may have had a similar experience"
I'm sure others could share their experiences with anyone who asks on this forum - but as a professional counselor you would know that everyone's experience is subjective - therefore what works for one might not work for another.
"Change the negative ones (thoughts) to positive ones".
If only it were that simple to do - perhaps you have control over your thoughts - but not everyone does. I debate myself almost constantly and can't 'turn off the thoughts'. If I could, I would, so it is not within my control.
"Only focus on what we do have control over".
Yes I agree with you there, but what if the source of (dis)stress is beyond my control (and they always seem to be).
I am a survivor of multiple crimes and I assure you those events were beyond my control.
"High levels of stress make it difficult to think clearly and come up with useful solutions to issues".
'You ain't wrong about that one Dennis'!
I hope you won't personalize any of my comments (I'm sure you won't) they were just responses on behalf of all the people with a mental illness (or to be politically correct - a mental health issue) who feel patronized by innocent, but flippant throw away comments.
Regards
Bush14u
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