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Any thoughts/comments/help welcomed-
Things are far from great at home, like some other threads I have read- i am staying in my relationship purely for the kids.
My wife and I havent ever communicated properly and I am constantly falling into traps laid for me. The constant sarcastic barrage that follows is staggering.
I am concerned now that things have deteriorated to the point where the environment is not good for the kids (4yr & 1yr old) to be around.
To get through it (my excuse anyway i guess) i have been drinking heavily for the last couple of years, and have started to hurt(cut/burn etc) myself.
I have no-one to talk to about it - and if i did, i dont think i could.
I feel like such a failure.
I love my children so much, but I hate going home if she is there.
The kids are the only thing stopping me from finding a low branch.
This weekend was particularily bad, with us bringing up the subject of divorce. I think this is the only way forward for us.
I am scared though- I feel like I will be judged by the 'world' as the guy who ran out etc- when this isnt the case. I'm not saying that none of it is my fault- but things have just gotten to a point where it is better if we seperate.
I feel like i shoul be able to fix this, and frustrated that I cant.
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Forum Newbie
Group: Forum Members
Last Login: Wednesday, April 23, 2008 6:35 PM
Posts: 6,
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staying for the kids is, in my opinion, the wrong reason to stay. stay because you love her. stay because she loves you. don't stay for the kids. I know first hand what parents staying "for the kids" does to you. leave her, move out. but don't cut off contact from your little ones. I know it's hard for you right now, and to tell the truth it will get harder for a while, but it will get easier. it's great that you put your kids before yourself, but in reality you're going about it the wrong way.
and PLEASE remember that this is just my opinion
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Forum Newbie
Group: Forum Members
Last Login: Monday, June 16, 2008 9:49 PM
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Mate,
I don't know the answer for you. I have a similar problem. We were not married and only together a short time. I had a 10 year old son with her and I tried going through the insults and abuse for him. The result was only hurt for my son and me. It was useless. I was going mad. I left. I was tormented by her in every way she could find and she uses my son as a weapon still. I haven't seen him for over a year now. But it was the right decision in my case. I am now trying to go legal for access to him.
I am getting myself back together now, I think. I feel guilty about leaving him and he is no doubt blaming me as well (he will not talk to me). But it got to the stage where he would hid under the bed or in a cupboard when she started on me. That could not go on.
It is a choice of two evils. You have pain whichever way you go, so you maybe have to decide what is best for the kids.
Sorry I can't give you a positive result to make you feel better, but I hope you find something to help from this.
I feel for you.
Dez.
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Forum Newbie
Group: Forum Members
Last Login: Thursday, June 26, 2008 8:44 PM
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Sorry for your predicament but I agree with Dez, "It is a choice of two evils, You have pain whichever way you go" Sometimes you just gotta do what is best for you and link in with support services like Mensline or individual counselling to see you safely through this.
Cheers!
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