Unplanned Pregnancy

So you have just found out that your partner is pregnant and it wasn't exactly planned...

What now?

Possibly the hardest emotional decision you and the mother of your child will have to make is about the future of the pregnancy and upbringing of the child. Yes, you should have a say in what happens next. After all, you helped to create it.

When reading this tipsheet, it will be helpful if you answer the questions on a piece of paper so you can see your answers written down

Some question to ask:

1. Are you still dating, seeing or even talking to the woman concerned?
2. How do you feel about this pregnancy and the choices surrounding it?
3. Is this want you want at this time in your life?
4. How is this going to affect what you want to achieve from life?
5. Who would you be comfortable in talking to about this decision?
6. How will the choice surrounding the pregnancy affect the other people in your life i.e. parents, grandparents, siblings, friends, work?

OK, now you need to start to think about making a decision...

Keeping the baby

If you and the mother have decided to continue the pregnancy (and raise the child) and wish to be a part of its life, you will need to look at your relationship together.

• Will you become or stay a couple?
• Are you staying together only because of the pregnancy?
• Can you see yourself staying with this person for the rest of your life?
• Can you afford to support a baby financially?

Terminating

This will be a very emotional decision to make and once the procedure has happened you cannot change your mind. If you come to regret the termination, this can be very painful, so it is strongly recommended that you and the mother seek counselling before reaching a final decision. Terminations can be performed up to 20 weeks into the pregnancy, although it is recommended they are undertaken earlier rather than later. Things to consider:

• Why have you decided to terminate this pregnancy?
• Is this what you both want?
• How are you coping with this decision?
• Is this affecting your daily routine i.e. work, study, friends, family?
• Who do you feel comfortable with to talk to about how you are feeling?

For more help:

Mensline Australia offer anonymous referral information and counselling to help you through this time. Your local community health service or doctor can offer suggestions or advice to cope with this new stage in your life.